SIR BEANS - Miles from Home - 2006 - EP Review

SIR BEANS: Miles From Home (2006)
TRACKS: Miles From Home (ft. Chrome from Def Tex)/ Bring Me The Horns (ft. Otis, Turroe & Dribbla)/ Business is Good (ft. Blaktrix)/ Overdose
SOUNDBITE: / Tunes these days get released too early/ Gas Mark 7 - enjoy that turkey/
RATING: 4/5
So what has Bristol's very own knight of the sampler been cooking up recently? Four dark and edgy grooves featuring a range of UK MC talent - that's what. The thing I like about this is the music - I have to confess that I rarely buy UK hip-hop because I find a lot of the music that underpins the rapping relentlessly dull and unremarkable whereas here the opposite is true. If you want reference points think dark, Red Snapper-style grooves (though this is more layered) or what you'd find on a Viktor Vaughn LP - though this is more fluid. Crisp delivery from Chrome over the title track's ominous double bass sets the tone and is followed by Bring the Horns more laboured beat, a demented be-bop loop and three vocalists. Last track Overdose Pt. 3 features Dribbla rhyming over throbbing rhythms and claustrophobic layers of samples but it's third track Business is Good that takes the honours. Beans knows when less is more and the guitar stabs in the background give it some grit without swamping the rolling break and bassline. All the MCs here rhyme about their superior skills but Blaktrix' caustic lyrics on this track suggest he has more cause than the rest to boast. Miles from Home? Yeah. It's pretty out there. I wish more UK hip-hop production sounded this fresh.

DIAMOND D - Stunts, Blunts and Hip Hop - 1992 - Re-released Album review

DIAMOND D: Stunts, Blunts and Hip-Hop (1992) (2006 Re-release) Album review
BOMBTRACKS: Best Kept Secret/ Sally Got A One Track Mind/ I'm Outta Here/ Check One, Two/ Freestyle
SOUNDBITE: Became a slave to material things/ And now you're snacking on four chicken wings/
RATING: 4/5
When I say that Diamond D is a hip-hop heavyweight I'm not just talking about his generous frame. One of the elder statesmen of hip-hop - the last time he created a (sizeable) blip on my fly radar it was in his 2002 collaboration The Omen with Aim. On this, the self-professed 'overweight brother' delivered an appropriately lordly rhyme about how much sexual attention he still got from 'chicks' and how he deserved a suitable amount of genuflection from the younger generation of hip-hoppers - I believe the recommended course of action was kneeling in the street. Unfortunately, this would play havoc with my joints, but respect is certainly due to a man who DJ'd for Jazzy Jay back in the day, produced for people like KRS-One, Mos Def and the Pharcyde as well as rapping and producing his own stuff like Stunts, Blunts and Hip Hop. Though arguably not quite as famous as say Native Tongues crews like Black Sheep, Brand Nubian and Tribe Called Quest (who owe certain production credits to Diamond D) this LP is as classic as any of their efforts. At times it's a chunkier, less jazzy sound than those bands already mentioned and has something in common with the sound and production of Del Tha Funkee Homosapien's 1993 LP No Need for Alarm, though D tends to make highly effective use of very short three, two or even one note samples to bowel loosening effect for example the brass on Best Kept Secret or the bass sax on Step To Me. There are one or two tracks that haven't dated well. Confused might (according to the sleevenotes) have given "club DJs...dancefloor satisfaction" in 1992 but the only way the word 'satisfaction' will be associated with it these days is after skipping ahead to avoid hearing the hideous early 90s female harmony that sounds straight off some 90s chart hit by Snap. Next track Pass Dat Sh*t isn't much better. The scales tip completely the other way however when you listen to something like I'm Outta Here - the best track on the LP for my money. A simple but threatening synth stabs over an equally simple but ominous bassline and a spare uptempo heavy break while the man relates a humour-tinged tale of having to bale out of progressively more dodgy situations.../Feet don't fail me now/. This track performs the trick of not just being classic golden age hip-hop but also sounding fresh by today's standards - as does his tale of a ho'Sally Got A One Track Mind with its elastic bass sound. In fact, far from having cobwebs on it, some of the stuff on this 15 year old record will show up the cobwebs on stuff less than half its age.

MR LIF - Mo Mega Tour - Bristol Thekla - 25 October 2006

My photo gimp claims he really likes this picture he took because Lif is in the dark and Metro is in the light - y'know - like some sort of metaphor. On the other hand - maybe he just takes sh*t pictures - and needs to reflect on this if he wants to be let out of his dungeon before the next gig.

MR LIF - Bristol Thekla - 25 October - 2006

I'm getting a bit worried about Mr Lif's hair you know - he's been looking a bit like Sideshow Bob for a while now but it's only a matter of time before those dreads are going to merge into one and he'll look like a hip-hop version of that Bib Fortuna guy in Jabba's palace at the start of Return of the Jedi. Imagine trying to comb that f*cker out. Still I don't expect that will stop him putting on a good show - it certainly didn't in this case. He emerged punctually from the shadows said dreads eagerly trying to escape from his hood and wearing a pair of shades - presumably in an effort to shield himself from the full horror of appearing before a half capacity crowd in a former tugboat which, after refurbishment, still looks like it has been painted with motor vehicle underseal. Then he had to work like a Mexican sweatshop labourer to liven up the criminally small audience which by sheer force of will he managed by the end of second song Earth Crusher Plus (from the I Phantom) which (despite my inner DJ screaming 'What are you doing man? You can't dance to that!') had everyone moving, myself included. Well, I say everyone - there were still a few stood with their arms folded at or near the front. Why are some people so willfully perverse? F*ck off to the back you tw*ts. The phantom skunk smoker also made it to the gig and it occurs to me that this may go some way to explaining the paralysis of certain punters. Anyway like I say - it was going off by now so it must have been about here that Lif did a storming version of Washitupfollowed by conducting a swift straw poll to ascertain the number of 'Def Jukies' in the crowd before beckoning on Metro from SA Smash. Now - it is possible that I may have consumed some alcoholic drinks during the evening so while I can confirm that everything I write next definitely happened - it may not have happened in the order I set it down hereafter. I know that they performed Status from Phantom Lif 'gunning' Metro to the floor with sound effects from Wiz, and that Lif laid into management oppression before they launched into the funky Live from the Plantation followed by New Man Theme. I know that they started my favourite Lif track Murs iz my Manager from Mo Mega but switched halfway through to a track I do forget and I know that Mr Lif seemed to be enjoying himself. I was glad that the crowd were yelling their appreciation at a suitable volume, I always feel embarrassed for quality performers when they don't get the crowd they deserve. Mind you as the club wasn't rammed - it was actually possible to dance. At some point DJ Wiz put on a superb freestyle display and I think I remember correctly that the encore was Pull Out Your Cuts off Emergency Rations. Lif was beaming widely by the end of the gig and after thanking the crowd like a true gentleman he explained that he'd be flogging his music and doing signings down at the front. He ended by leading the crowd in a shout of 'PEACE' and show of peace signs. All the more ironic then that I didn't get to shake his hand and say thanks due to some meathead bouncer physically getting rid of people barely five minutes after the end of the gig with less tact and more aggression than you'd usually expect of some mentally stunted, steroid injecting f*ckwit who was last in line to use the family brain cell that night. So, if you read this Mr Lif - thanks for a good night - let Metro and particularly Wiz know their skills were also appreciated, keep up the good work and see you next time.

JEDI MIND TRICKS - Servants in Heaven, Kings in Hell - 2006 - Album review

JEDI MIND TRICKS - Servants in Heaven, Kings in Hell - 2006 - Album review
BOMBTRACKS: Put Em in the Grave - Suicide - When all Light Dies - Serenity in Murder - Gutta Music
SOUNDBITE: /But Vinnie rap like when fifty fuckin' Kurds attack/ Who your group Daddy, I ain't never heard of that/
RATING: 4/5
Jedi Mind Tricks musically inhabit a similar dark, dank, graffitied alleyway to those other cheerful b*stards Non-Phixion and Gravediggaz - the CIA waiting at one end to terminate them with 'extreme prejudice' for their Bush-baiting lyrics while pimps, crackheads and psychotic prostitutes wait at the other to f*ck them up them just to see what it looks like. Not that JMT sound bothered. Rapper Vinnie Paz sounds pretty hard to me - he probably has a broken bottle for a snack at elevenses or something and sounds a bit like the RZA might if you woke him up after only a few hours sleep to tell him that there won't be any skunkweed available for the week. JMT do a nice line in violin/mandolin/balalaika (one, two or possibly all three of these) and piano loops - which is a refreshing change from the horns, wah-wah guitar and Hammond organ territory I usually inhabit. In this sense they reminded me of Chicago geniuses All Natural (what the f*ck happened to them?) but they have the beefy beats and production of DJ 'Stoupe The Enemy of Mankind' (Kevin Baldwin to his mum) which recalls some of the more bludgeoning moments on Non-Phixion's 2002 drop 'The Future is Now' and, indeed, former Non-Phixion rapper Ill Bill guests on the Wagnerian 'Heavy Metal Kings'. While we're talking metal - the band wisely leave the frankly ridiculous crossover track 'Black Winter Day' to the end of the LP. Highlights on the other hand are fairly plentiful. The pianos and strings together with a fairly self-explanatory title on 'Put Em in the Grave' open the album and give it the operatic air of a Mafia don's funeral. The next track is the one that actually persuaded me to part with my money and goes by the jolly title of 'Suicide' - it's driven by an uptempo beat and a beautiful loop of one of the aforementioned stringed instruments being plucked. Other tracks of note include 'When all Light Dies' with it's two catchy vocal loops one of which sounds like Edith Piaf on helium, the doomy 'Serenity in Murder' and 'Gutta Music' featuring Chief Kamachi and Reef The Lost Cauze. Christ it must be happy in Philadelphia. I'm off to sacrifice some babies for Halloween.

Listen to Jedi Mind Tricks 'Servants in Heaven, Kings in Hell'

RALPH RIP SHIT - The Best name - 2006 - Single review

RALPH RIP SHIT: I got the best name (2006) Single review
Rating: 3/5
Soundbite: /When Ralph step in you best avert your eyes/ You're full of bullsh*t like the Turner Prize/

If you want to get anywhere in hip-hop as a young rapper it's crucial to let everyone know a) what your name is and b) that you're in some way the best. British rapper Ralph Rip Shit manages to kill two birds with one rhyme by making his name the topic of this single and emphasizing fairly competently to anyone who will listen that he that has 'the best name'. Reminiscent of something Bristol's Aspects might put out, this minimalist track features a cartoon xylophone loop and phat skipping break that brings to mind the sort of movements my mate's cat Monster might make if he ever found himself inadvertently standing on live coals. Not bad.

Listen to Ralph Rip Shit 'The Best Name'

LITTLE BARRIE - Pin That Badge EP - 2006 - Review

LITTLE BARRIE Pin That Badge EP (2006) Review
Rating: 5/5
Tracks: Pin That Badge/ Green Eyed Fool/ Cash In /Why Don't You Do It?
Soundbite: /Some call me bitter but I like the taste/

When you're nodding like the Churchill advert dog within a few seconds of a song starting, you know you're listening to a winner. The opening guitar riff of this EP's title track is more insistent than a toddler in a sweet shop and after two bars Little Barrie drop a breakbeat heftier than Biffa Bacon's mum - complete with rolling pin and five o clock shadow. This band draw from slightly older influences than the current crop of trendy UK rock bands but unlike those others they combine their influences (rather than imitate) to come up with something new. In LB's case it's the combination of Kinks-like sixties blues rock with Meters-like funky rhythms which has characterized their previous output and three of the tracks on this EP. It seems like Marc Bolan got invited to the party too on 'Green Eyed Monster' which sounds like a garage-rock version of T-Rex's 'Twentieth Century Boy'. 'Cash In' features a spooky wailing harmonica behind the guitars while Barrie lays in lyrically to the musical sell-outs and 'Why Don't You Do It?' is the beautiful slow(ish) one that showcases Mr Cadogan's not inconsiderable guitar skills perfectly. Occasionally my mind is troubled by weighty thoughts like why people still consider nuclear power an option, why you only see really shabby five pound notes nowadays and why Little Barrie aren't more famous. Maybe we'll never know but on the strength of this EP, I would be prepared to bet five pounds (in the form of a shabby note, obviously) that Little Barrie's second album (out January) will be massive.

Listen to Little Barrie Pin That Badge

JURASSIC 5 - Live at Bristol Academy - Sept. 26th

Get a proper photo of the gig? Are you having a laugh? My arms were pinned to my sides!

Not quite the 'matinee' a friend described it as when I told him the Academy doors opened at seven but J5's timekeeping is infinitely better than most hip-hop bands who generally (in my experience) turn up in the small hours of the morning because (insert crap excuse here) and that's if they remember to turn up at all - no names mentioned. Mind you, it's just as well J5 rocked up early given that their set was so long I needed another shave at the end of it. No-one could complain they didn't get their money's worth. When DJ Nu-Mark kicked off the proceedings I sauntered across from the bar in time to see rappers Chali 2Na, Akil, Marc 7even and Soup (the artist formerly known as Zaakir) enter stage right. Any hopes I'd held of having a boogie were rapidly dashed as the place was more rammed than a city centre kebab shop at 2 am on a Friday night. And it wasn't really a hip-hop crowd either - barely a pair of fat-laced Adidas Superstars to be seen. Those on the dancefloor were admittedly hampered by space but the crowd was far too polite and middle class (or just too f*cking cool) to actually dance. As a result I spent the next two hours clinging to one of the crowded stairwells (where everyone WAS trying to dance) defending my personal space and my pint from over eager 18 year old girls with no rhythm and breathing in second hand skunk fumes that could have been smelt outside the venue let alone in the manager's office. Not everyone was stoned though, as evidenced by the deafening cheers the band received when they asked the crowd to 'make some noise' whenever the word 'Bristol' was mentioned. The first time this happened caused looks of what seemed like genuine astonishment and prompted 2Na to make some comment about how this 'little' (if only he knew the size of some Bristol clubs...) club crowd sounded more like a stadium. At first I thought - yeah? I bet you say that to all your crowds - but then he added how he remembered Bristol's love for hip-hop from J5's first Bristol gig ('98 or '99 - I forget) "..at a place called - was it the Thekla?" - result - more cheers. So how did that 'difficult' fourth album go down? Well, 'Red Hot' definitely lived up to its name but they were as likely to play stuff from 'Power in Numbers' e.g. 'A Day at the Races' which saw the band rapping over an instrumental of 'Crazy' by Gnarls Barkley as Nu-Mark mixed this with the original music, and 'What's Golden', or their first album e.g. 'Jayou' and 'Concrete Schoolyard' - which got the night's biggest cheer for a track. Curiously, while they didn't do much off their best album 'Quality Control', they did perform a quality Chali 2Na solo track, 2004's 'Comin' Thru'. There was the skit in the middle of the gig when they band sat down at school desks to freestyle while each banged out the beats on toy-like drum machines, two encores - the last track played being 'Work it Out' off 'Feedback' (possibly a message to those who don't get the new album), and a triumphant final display of beat-mastery by Nu-Mark on portable turntable and something that looked like it had been made by Fischer-Price. After this he left the stage to exultant yelling. The last I saw of the band was outside the Academy where Chali 2Na was on some girl's mobile phone apparently speaking to her friend. I wonder what kind of feedback she was giving him...

STONED SOUL PICNIC - Erotic Cakes - 2006 -Album review

STONED SOUL PICNIC - Erotic Cakes - 2007 - Album review
HIGHLIGHTS: Ain't Gonna Tell No One - The Grinder Pt. 1 - Hardtop 22 - Vote For Number 6
RATING: 4/5
"So it's basically Hammond organ-led heavy funk that seems like it was made in 1967?" My mate looked at me for confirmation.

I looked back. "You know what your trouble is?" I asked. "You make that sound like a bad thing."

This album is basically the audio equivalent of the Smirnoff bottle that shows you reality when you hold it in front of your eyes in the advert. In the case of 'Erotic Cakes' however, it doesn’t matter where you are, listening to this you’ll feel like you're in a smoky basement club in swinging Soho, 60 wing mirror scooter outside, mini-skirted dolly bird on either arm, sporting a sharp Italian suit. Which - if you think about it - isn't a bad position to be in. Stoned Soul Picnic are an instrumental funk band who appear to worship at the twin altars of Bryan Auger and The Meters (legendary British Hammond organist and legendary New Orleans funk band, respectively) and make no secret of it. 'Ain't Gonna tell No One' (one of the highlights of the Let's Boogaloo 3 compilation - see review on this site) - is basically a high-octane dancefloor magnet and features the vocal talents of guest soul singer Marika Ling who also appears on the groovy 'Ready For Seven'. Jesus - it's catching - now I'm starting to sound like Austin Powers. 'The Grinder Part 1' is a hefty slice of mod funk that has guitars scrapping with an organ all the way through and the whole thing (like every track) is underpinned by a rock solid rhythm section. 'Hardtop 22' opens with a phat squelchy clavinet riff that requires your immediate hip-shaking attention, 'Vote For Number 6' turns the funky amp up to 11 with the organ riff of the album and the (presumably) Homer Simpson inspired album title track certainly brought the chick who was sampled on it to orgasm. Despite its short length (39 minutes) there is, at times, a sense of a kind of sprawling funky jam going on when you listen to the album. It's not that the tracks are overlong (they manage to fit 12 in) - more that the band have a kind of funky attention deficit disorder when it comes to riffs and at times I found myself wanting to hear more of one riff when they were already on their third in the same song. Maybe that's a consequence of listening to too much hip-hop. Still - if that is a complaint - I guess it's the right kind. If you didn't like the whole 60s organ sound before you probably still won't - but if the opposite is true - you'll be scrabbling rabidly for your latest hit of hammond crack.

JURASSIC 5 - Feedback - 2006 - Vinyl album review

JURASSIC 5 - Feedback - 2006 - Album review
HIGHLIGHTS: Back 4 U / Gotta Understand / Red Hot
SOUNDBITE: But now I kind of see what he was talking about/ You can't live in somebody' house and start airing it out/ You got to be your own man and handle your biz/ Later on you can tell 'em what time it is
RATING: 4/5
Feedback? Here's some f*cking feedback - how about releasing the vinyl when the CD and the download come out! Oh who am I kidding? Maybe as vinyl sales are so specialist, buyers should pay a premium and then record companies could release all formats at the same time. Oh wait. Hang on - this was three quid more than the cd and it was still two months late... All that aside - it can't have been an easy time for J5 recently. Cut Chemist has left, and the 'backpack backlash' is in full effect. So what does a band do? Well - on their fourth full-lengther J5 were obviously looking to change the 'sounds like Native Tongues' flavour a little and have diversified considerably. You can still get original flavour Jurassic Five on opener 'Back 4 U' and 'Red Hot' (comes with a funky Dap Kings topping), but the menu also includes a range of other flavours including 'Mantronix' Five ('Radio') 'Sugarhill' Five ('In the House') and 'Black Eyed' Five - the uncomfortably poppy 'Brown Girl (Suga Plum)'. Maybe that's a little unfair - they are adding some J5 magic rather than just pastiching these other styles, the production's solid (Nu-Mark doesn't need Cut Chemist's help there) and the lyricising's as tight as ever. One atypical Jurassic track that works really well is 'Gotta Understand' which chops up a Curtis Mayfield sample and ends up making him sound like Prince. 'Canto de Ossanha' is a very Cut Chemist-like latin instrumental and 'We Got to Make it Right Now' a summery track that has had US critics up in arms because it features - gasp - The Dave Matthews band (who, obviously have a hideous MOR reputation stateside) - as if J5 didn't already do a track with Nelly Furtado last album (and that was before her recent RnB makeover - when she was even less cool). I was skeptical about 'Feedback' at first. People have moaned that it's completely different in style (not true of all tracks), that it's too poppy (ditto) and that the band has suffered from the loss of Cut Chemist (which seriously underrates Nu-Mark - and in any case CC's technically polished album is so dull-as-f*ck - I didn't bother buying it). 'Feedback' has grown on me - and in any case it's worth remembering that if the band had made 'Quality Control' part 3 you can guarantee the complainers would have said - 'J5 are so boring all their albums sound the same'.

DJ YODA - Wheels - 2006 - single review

Rating: 4/5

Consider this phenomenon - although my toilet air freshener smells really nice there are times when you can detect beneath it a more sinister odour that its piney fragrance was intended to mask. This record will be a bit like an audio version of that for those old enough to remember Level 42 - which 'Wheels' samples. Getting your groove on when you hear it will seem like an excellent idea but will also conjure to your mind unpleasant images of Mark King - Level 42's hideously smug singer who wore his bass so high it was effectively a guitar shaped beard. I AM old enough to remember Level 42 so, unfortunately, my enjoyment of what is basically an infectious mid-tempo hip hop instrumental will forever be soiled by one of its catchy vocal loops.